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I am angry! I killed him!

I KILLED THEM!

It was 5:30 pm on the 19th of July, 2021, and I was late for my Monday evening youth fellowship. Whatever level of Lagos traffic awaited me, I knew not; all I knew was that I had to look peng. I slid on my purple “Silimady” sandal which was a gift from a colleague. Oh, how those sandals made me feel comfortable and chic. Better late than ugly they say right?

I was 100% vibe loaded and that’s because I was also going to deliver a copy of my book, ‘Beauty for Ashes’ to a dear friend. I was out of the house and on a bike to the main bus stop. The rider had to maneuver through a ricketty road to avoid the miscarriage-causing potholes on the major road. Suddenly, we approached a large crowd of persons; some carried sticks, others carried their excited-looking faces.

Me: Na protest? Abi na fight? Abokina, abeg no stop oo, just ride pass abeg.
Rider: Na thief, them don catch thief.

Just at the same time, I saw a young man covered in blood and mud in the midst of the crowd receiving another kick on the head; a kick enough to pass any man out let alone one covered in blood. While I processed the fact that I was face-a-face with a jungle justice, the bike man slowed down.

Me: ehn! you wan stop? move abeg!
He increased speed. He apparently wanted to join in the onlooking but I would have none of that. I silently prayed for the Police to arrive in good time. I opened my eyes as we got off the ricketty road onto the tarred route, only for me to see another crowd gathered. I was too demoralized to think. I was still wondering if that guy stole or killed someone.

I got to church and my worries left me. After all, in the presence of God, there’s joy and liberty. I had flashes though, more like panic attacks. I didn’t want to waste my time in His presence so I tried to concentrate; I only succeeded for 30 minutes before I found myself fiddling with my phone again.

Service ended, I delivered the book, and I got in the traffic going home. I brought out my phone and I was amidst going through my WhatsApp messages and trying to make sure my phone doesn’t get snatched through the vehicle’s window(Lagosians can relate) when I saw a shocker! A friend who lives on my street posted on his WhatsApp status the caption: “Omo!! Naso them burn three people to ashes.” See the rest of the conversation in the image below.

Flashes in my head! I let the tears flow! Anger welled up! I had seen one of them on my way out. So there were two others? Now dead! No rights to attorney? No right to a fair hearing? No law? No judiciary in place? The painful part is they were MURDERED IN COLD BLOOD… by people like them; street boys.

I could not but imagine how it would have been if we had no advocate in Jesus, if we had a god that lacked empathy for humanity and left us to the vices of men. I could not but imagine what would have become of me if the enemy was freely allowed to cast the first stone on me.
In fact, let’s leave spirituality, let’s address this humanly. I’ve erred countless times, even petty thefts. Or is it because no one knows of your secret thefts at your office or those lies to your spouses, bosses, children and even on church altars?
The only difference is that those three guys were already condemned to hopelessness; condemned to death either way. Steal, get caught, die. Don’t steal, still, die of hunger and frustration. Steal, get away with it, survive a little longer. It’s a jungle full of animals; you either eat or be eaten! Kill or be killed!

Shame on me, shame on you! Shame on everyone gathered there that day and did nothing right. Shame on everyone who took a life they could never create. Shame on what we make of society. Shame on the terrible persons we make our spheres of influence.
They came from a family; lived as someone’s brother, someone’s friend, or someone’s child. You’re not alive for you alone. You have an influence on someone’s destiny and there is no magic to it; a better world begins with you.
Oh, I forgot! It’s an era of minding your business till you’re directly affected, right? It won’t be long…
Yes, they are dead and gone. I guess there are no more thieves in my community. But a neighbor’s child brought home a beautiful hairband and there were no questions from the parents. Another fresh unemployed graduate was about to take dinner in his father’s house only for the father to ask him “when did you ever buy food in this house?” I won’t tell you what would become of both unique situations of non-challance and loose words.

I’m sure you know this is not an advocacy for amnesty for insurgents and rebels. It’s a call to let love lead.
Pardon my catharsis. Stay woke!

Love,
OluwatoyinAnu.

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It Does Not Matter Anymore!

I stormed into the house that evening, fuming! The bike man who brought me home had just provoked me. The usual fare was 100NGN from the major bus stop to my house. I had a 200NGN bill and I asked if he had my balance and he said, “Yes madam, no worry”. On getting home, I requested for my “change” and he stretched forth a 50NGN bill to me.

In my mind, I was already asking questions like, “Does he not know simple arithmetic, or does he want to overcharge me?” Amidst my thoughts, I heard him saying, “Madam, na 50naira dey here oo, you go manage am, make you do Sunday for me now”. Wow! It was the effrontery for me. I was too shocked to say a word. I just turned, still with my money in hand, and entered my compound.

This man started trying to create a scene shouting that I didn’t want to pay him. I simply asked him, “Do you have change now?” And he said, “Ehn, come collect this 100naira. Fine girl like you, you no get money, you too stingy”. He apparently had my balance but wanted to play a fast one on me. Oh my goodness, manipulation and mischief… two terrible character traits I can hardly deal with. I was already boiling in anger, the man was still ranting.

Just then it felt like someone was talking to me. I heard, “Do you have your balance now?” I answered positive and the voice said, “Then it doesn’t matter anymore!” I felt deprived! I wanted to give this nasty bike man a piece of my mind. But then, knowing how the Holy Spirit talks to me, I had to vent that anger by marching to my room with my lips sealed, not saying a word.

Many of us live our lives trying to prove highly unnecessary points even when those points do not matter anymore. Trying to tell God how terrible they treated you does not count anymore. Giving that person a piece of your unrenewed mind will always end up in disaster.
Matthew 18:15 NKJV says “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother”

Trying to teach someone a way to treat you would never work when done in anger.
Whatever you do, concentrate on the future. What matters now is your peace with all men and the gaining of your brother (anyone at all). The past does not matter anymore, or do you think it does?

Love,
OluwatoyinAnu
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Different, Not Impaired!

Biologically, I hail from the Yoruba tribe of south western Nigeria and I observed that I am first Nigerian before I am Yoruba, as expressed to the global community.

This same analysis applies with my religion, Christianity. I am first referred to as a Christian before described as a member of any local church. The body of Christ is one and of diverse parts. Early on in my faith, I’ve had to attend various churches of various denominations in a bid to understand their beliefs and doctrines, the ‘whys’ and the ‘hows’.

My discovery:
Individual churches have their core values are founded on various parts of the Bible. While some are keen on the Abrahamic and Mosaic symbolic ways of serving God, others believe in avoiding material objects fashioned after the world or even consumption of animal meat. Some simply believe in the law of grace and love and others, just good deeds.

I had to personally settle with God, every doctrine I have imbibed over time, to avoid being swayed by every wind of doctrine. This is born out of an understanding that what King David got away with would have destroyed any other king and his kingdom. We all carry different graces, missions, and are on our ways to obeying different instructions to a specific end designed by God. We owe the eventual results and reports to God alone.
When you see someone of a different race, tribe, or religious view, it’s normal to see yourself as the perfect one with the other person as impaired. Stop! Who says you are not the impaired one? Actually, you’re not. You’re only different.

In cases of obvious differences, say a word of prayer unto perfection for you and the other party as the aim is to eventually fulfil purpose Christ’s way; the processes may only differ.
There are general rules but to every rule, there are exceptions and exemptions.
You are different, not impaired!

Love,
OluwatoyinAnu
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Great Things Take Time.

No! Don’t jump the process. It took Jesus thirty years to prepare for a three and half year long ministry and He happens to be the most fulfilled man that ever lived.

Life consists of times and seasons which no one is above. Great men you see and want to be like did not just get there overnight, no matter their sphere of influence. You know the shocker, they look up to some greater persons too. This simply tells you that there are steps, processes and principles to be followed in order to get to the top of the ladder.
With that being understood, it might be tempting to want to postpone the process, feeling like you have all the time to grow and make impact.

I remember during my college days, going back to school after each semester break had to be well calculated. Leaving Lagos to Benin-City before noon was compulsory and anything otherwise was tantamount to a cancelled trip. This was a rule for me as arriving Benin-City late was usually unsafe especially since I lived off campus. This rule also made me arrive school without tensions, to a warm welcome, and enough time to relate with friends around.

You sure do not want to leave your comfort zone too late to receive a warm welcome at heaven’s gate.
During evangelism one day, I told a young man that I cannot afford to be without a crown in heaven and he said he had never thought of that; he was simply being a good Christian, no soul winning, no impact. I also realize that some people are thinking of repenting and seeking God’s mercy on their deathbeds; what if there is no deathbed?

Great things take time… start now! The first step to true greatness is salvation and the best time to be saved is NOW!
“For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation”. 2 Corinthians 6:2 NKJV

If you want to finish early, strong and well, start NOW!

Say this prayer of salvation to be saved. “Lord Jesus, I thank you for your death on the cross of Calvary. I believe in your death, burial, and resurrection that catered for my sins. Thank you for your resurrection which gives me an assurance of salvation. I ask that you come into my life and make me your child. Help me also to retain this salvation.” Amen
Read Romans 10:9-10.

Need help? Send me a mail.

Love,
OluwatoyinAnu
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Bloodshot!

06:22 am. 04-04-2021


The gates are opened wide; the eyes I mean. Without protection, without security!
He saw all evil! Well, how will a nail go through your head, hands and feet without your eyes turning red? Will you walk a long distance with a heavy burden without bloodshot eyes? I doubt!
But wait, what concerns the eyes with these pains? The eye is the mirror.

Beloved, we’re all members of one body of Christ and many of us are His eyes. Yes, after all we claim to be the light. “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.” Matthew 6:22
Through us, He sees the way to go in the world. Through us, light comes to the whole body of Christ. We practically show the way to others. We’re so important. Glory!!!

Plot twist: He says His eyes are bloodshot and all it wants to do is mirror the same things He died for even after over 2000 years – the poverty, the pains, the sins, the sicknesses and the guilt.
Hmmmm. Medically speaking, bloodshot eyes could indicate a bad infection, the presence of a foreign object, eye tiredness, pressure, etc.
Does this mean I’ve introduced into myself, the eyes of Jesus, strange things?

No, not me! I refuse to be bloodshot! I refuse to be stained, pressured, infected, tired or even drunk with wine. I can’t waste His death, I can’t waste His pain.
“Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.” Psalms 51:7.
Fellow “Eyes”, It’s time to wash ourselves with the water of the Word and … ‘the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.” (1 Peter 1:19)

Shalom.

Yours-in-Christ,
OluwatoyinAnu

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Hey! I Missed My Devotions.

    Shocked? Don’t be.

    I missed my devotions today and I’ve been missing them for quite some time now. Oh yes, I know I am not supposed to miss what Donna Partow calls “the daily TAG – Time Alone with God”. I also know I should put God first and start my day with Him, every day, but I don’t keep up; man, I just can’t keep up!

    It’s not my fault in any way, I have a job to attend to, relationships to maintain, examinations to pass, a standard to meet and a legacy to protect. Every part of my world seems to want a bit of me; they say to whom much is given, much is expected. Saving that TAG time is one way I’ve been able to achieve quite a number of things in life. After all, God is understanding enough to share His time with other things in my daily life like a ride to the office, my lunch break, or my toilet time.

    Hold on, let me count some achievements for you… a great job with good pay, a growing career, and many more. Awesome right? Maybe I should also tell you what helped me achieve them all – dedication, consistency, intelligence and adequate knowledge. There’s definitely more and I’m sure you also know a number of them too, if not all.
    Let’s take a look at them again… Wait! They seem more like blessings, not achievements. I really would never have accessed those without the breath of life and the mercies of God. The world just wants what God has blessed me with. How then do I keep receiving these blessings without spending time or fellowshipping with the giver of them? Never again should I miss a time to spend with this awesome God.

    Amazingly, God wants to be first because that’s His place.
    Matthew 6:33 says “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness: and all these things shall be added unto you”

    Make up your mind to spend the first thirty minutes of your day with God. See it as an important business meeting, choose the best location, timing, and dressing for the meeting. Decorate the meeting place to be as appealing as possible to you and your Heavenly Guest.

    Finally, if you miss it today, don’t shy away, go back there!

    Deal?

    Love,
    OluwatoyinAnu
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    Why Christianity?

    I was teaching a set of teenagers a few weeks back and it occurred to me to ask them the question: Why did you choose to be a Christian?

    This is a question I usually ask myself when some things tend to question my stand in God as well as God’s presence and sovereignty in my heart. It is my question of realignment. 

    They looked confused at first. I kept calm while they went deep in their thoughts, looking all the more confused. 9 year old Daniel decided to break the silence; he said, “errmm… because my mommy is a Christian”. Yes! Exactly what I was waiting for. Others joined in with similar explanations. 14 year old Abigail further said that her father is a Muslim while her mother, a Christian and she’s a Christian because she is closer to her mom. Amazing!

    It’s okay to be in those shoes now, without a personal conviction as to how and why you are a Christian. Every wonder working Christian you see today was once at that point, no pacesetting, just following someone’s stead; and that is perfect… for now.

    God, during the creation of Man, left in man a vacuum which can only be filled by Him. This is why there is always a yearning for a connection with the supernatural, for fellowship and for help. This is why you tend to seek and hope for higher powers and abilities beyond the usual, it is the law of supremacy.

    For your own conviction, discover today, your reason for choosing to be a Christian. This is so that when some faith shaking situations arise, your stand will be firm – your anchor to the ground. For me, my reasons are stemmed from several encounters, miraculously answered prayers, and kept covenants with God. All of these reasons won’t have been accessible without a personal relationship with God. To find your reasons, truly find God!

    “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13 ESV.

    Let me know if you need help with that here as we trust God, through the Holy Spirit, to make His conviction sure in you.

    Love,

    OluwatoyinAnu

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    The Shame-Free Tribe

    Aborting the child was inevitable. What would people have said? 

    Lying was the only option. I can’t be seen as the bad one.

    Keeping malice with her was better. Better than venting my anger. 

    We loved each other so much. Having sex with him was no big deal.

    Prostituting was better than robbery. I needed the money.

    Cheating was necessary. I would have failed the exam.

    Masturbation wasn’t so bad. At least I wasn’t fornicating.

    My parents deserved my disobedience. They need to learn to respect me too.

    Being rude to my subordinates is normal. They need to be put in their place.

    Thinking of evil occurrences were normal. I can’t control my thoughts after all.

    Stop!

    I’ve been there, done that and I can tell that all those excuses were valid… but not anymore. Every of that situation should explain your past, which is now gone and forgotten! Because that is exactly how Jesus sees you now. 

    The Scriptures say you have been made blameless. Colossians 1:22 (NKJV) “In the body of His flesh through death, in order to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight”. Should you now be ashamed of your past sins when you have been made guiltless? That will be an error, tantamount to self-condemnation.

    I don’t care the extent of your physical, mental or spiritual damage, all I care about is your willingness for a change. Why? All your excuses were born out of a suffering, one without tangible rewards. I need you to translate them to another kind of suffering, the one described by Apostle Peter in 1 Peter 4:16. “Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter”. This kind of suffering is unto glory and you cannot afford to miss out on it. 

    I believe you are willing and I will also love to be a part of your journey every step of the way. Do well to send me a direct mail here requesting a ticket for enrollment into The Shame-free tribe – a tribe that shamelessly expresses the heart and will of the Father per time. I await you.

    Love,

    OluwatoyinAnu